I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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