Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
