But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just high enough for therapy.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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