how can u be prego again
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
