I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
