and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize