And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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