my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
