it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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