So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
