we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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