Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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