peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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