You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
