Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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