Dual....:-)
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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