i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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