If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize
