yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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