dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
