But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
