I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
