You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
