U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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