how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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