hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize