just tell him i said nine months
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
