all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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