Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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