I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
