So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
