Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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