at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
