I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
