I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
