Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Randomize
