She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
