Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
