Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
