i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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