best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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