Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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