I wish I could teleport
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
