Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
