The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
