just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
