oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
