Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
