Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
