I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
