Plan B is the new Plan A
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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