Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
