Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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