its not stalking. its research.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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