he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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