My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize