I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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