That's intense
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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