i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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