I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
