well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
