ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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