Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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