I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
