Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I didn't notice because vodka
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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