i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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