No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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