dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
