Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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