$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
