he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
