Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
