Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
